Desy and Me

Post a blog…sth that I never fond of doing it…not too sure what brought me here but decided to give it a try anyway! I always think that it takes a lot of courage to share your deepest thought to the world. The thought of everyone would be able to go to the web and find out how I feel scares me…

But since it is the last day of 2007 and 3 hours away to a new year…I decided to do sth different and post a blog…erm…how should i start then?
I came home early today to cook myself a dinner, a nice and simple dinner.
Sth that I haven’t done it for ages.it might sound pathetic to have dinner alone on a new year eve but I actually enjoy it alot.It will be crowded everywhere i go now..and I do really want to enjoy the time that I can be myself and do not care about anything and anybody.
Next, I’m watching the TV news…there is a lot of recaps about what have happened in 2007 and I started thinking about what have happened to me over the last year.
The year of 2007 is better than 2006. I was less sad than 2006 but not so much happier either.life’s been filled with work. work and work…spend a slightly more time with my family which I’m really grateful for.
However, there are a lot of disappointments…disappointment with people in general including myself…is not that I think that I’m any better than anyone around me..is just that when I realised  people are not like what I perceived, I got disappointed..betrayal and lost of trust are what hurt me the most. Once, someone who was used to be very dear to me told me that I’ve been living in a fairytale world with the bestest and nicest people surrounded me and i get to be on the top of everything. He told me I need to be more realistic and see more of the ‘real’ world. I agree. I don’t think I’ve seen the worst and hence I’m not really looking forward for next year…becuz I know there will be more and more of it coming. It will definitely be a good learning curve for me but… don’t think I will like it…

I miss myself, the past me. The past me who is always looking forward for a better day to come…today is not so bad but tommorow will be better… I miss my friends Ayrine, Olivia and Wilsen…my dearest friends of mine that I will never get bored to spend my time with, They are not here with me..but luckily I have Sh, Jayky and Boon hua with me…when I’m sick of all the pretentious, I can just be myself in front of you guys:) blame it to my "Manja" self….I felt so loved n pampered whenever I’m with you all.

In the year of 2007, I moved on from my past relationship and I’m happy that I did. I talked of him casually now…n will be glad if I can see him again. I hope he is happy and found what he want in his life.

Then, there is this someone else that I like to listen to his stories now… someone that is uncleared, unknown and uncertain…but I do know that he cares for me, don’t mind me slamming down his phone, listen to me whenever I need to talk to someone and last but not least, he talks to me gently. Who is he? I don’t really know ..maybe if you stay tune to my next blog, u might find out the answer.
Having to say that, this might be my first and last blog…so we’ll see what will happen…

Opps, it’s time for my new year resolution and that is to have NO resolution..when you have no expectation, there will be no disappointment…

See you when I see u…Have a good new year ahead